Review by Derrick Carter
Running Time: 1 hour 37 minutes
MPAA Rating: R for Pervasive Crude Sexual Content, Language and some Nudity
Directed by: Tom Brady
Written by: Adam Sandler, Allen Covert & Nick Swardson
Starring: Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci, Don Johnson & Stephen Dorff
There are a lot of differing opinions and ideas on what makes a truly terrible movie. However, I think everyone can be united on one cinematic issue: There’s nothing worse than an unfunny comedy. Everyone also has their own acquired taste of humor. Personally, I absolutely love dark comedies and jokes that are funny because they are honest. I can also engage in the occasional Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey vehicle. When I first saw the trailer for BUCKY LARSON (in front of another comedy titled BAD TEACHER) me and my friend burst out laughing. This looked like a no-holds-barred crude and disgusting R-rated film packed full of sick laughs. However, it didn’t look good enough to go see on the big screen so I didn’t partake. Turns out I wasn’t the only one, because this film bombed hard. It reached #15 in the box office opening weekend and was pulled from theaters after its second week of release. That wasn’t the end of the terrible news surrounding BUCKY LARSON though.
Critics despised this movie. Hated it to the point where it currently holds a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and casual filmgoers weren’t fans either. The movie is at a 3.2 on IMDB, which is also VERY low for a wide released movie. Instead of taking the bad criticism like a man, Nick Swardson went on record saying that critics are scumbags for getting their rocks off on giving terrible reviews to a movie like BUCKY LARSON. Before I dive into the description and my comments on the film itself, I’d like to say one thing about film criticism. Critics may prefer one genre over another (I love a great horror film more than any other piece of filmmaking), but the true talent of voicing your opinion about movies comes from being able to measure them as they are in their own genre. Obviously, THE KING’S SPEECH and MAN OF STEEL are playing at two different levels and should be measured as such. Not every movie has a chance at being a Best Picture winner. This being said, BUCKY LARSON is terrible.
The title character (played by Nick Swardson) is a mentally slow young man with enormous buckteeth. He’s extremely naïve about the world and after being introduced to his first porn (due to his equally stupid friends), he discovers that his parents were porn stars in the ’70’s. Associating stardom with porn, Bucky gets on the next bus to become a star himself. Helped out by a sweet waitress named Kathy (played by a Christina Ricci, who doesn’t belong within a foot of this film), he meets a porn director named Miles Deep (played by Don Johnson) and becomes an unlikely star due to his miniscule member. That’s about it. That’s the plot.
Running for 97 minutes, I chuckled (not even full on laughed) for a total of four times. There were four jokes that got half of a laugh out of me in the entire 97 minute running time. Contemplate that for a moment. Now, I am far from a prude. I laughed during JOE DIRT. I laughed during HAPPY GILMORE. I even laughed during DODGEBALL. However, BUCKY LARSON is so awful on every conceivable level. It’s not funny. It’s just not funny. It’s the same joke over and over. The joke wasn’t really that funny the first time and by the tenth time you’ve seen it, this film borders on infuriating.
Every actor in this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Especially Nick Swardson and Adam Sandler (who both co-wrote the script). Christina Ricci and Don Johnson are so much better than this material. The film constantly mistakes people being mean to Bucky as comedy, but instead it’s just a bit depressing. Not that Bucky is that lovable of a character to begin with, because it’s Swardson being obnoxious for the whole movie. There’s not a whole lot I can say about this one that hasn’t already been said. In fact, I feel I should bring up Richard Roeper’s few sentences on this film: “If you watch this movie with your family, they will disown you. If you watch it with your girlfriend, she will leave you for a random stranger. And if you watch it alone, you will feel awful about yourself and your life.”
I watched it alone and yes, Richard, I feel awful about both myself and my life now. It’s a soul-sucking movie and I will never get those 97 minutes back. Go brush your teeth for 97 minutes or water your lawn. Maybe, even paint a fence. All of the above sound far more entertaining and funny than BUCKY LARSON. Avoid this stinker at all costs!